Social workers often ask themselves when children develop this "curiosity" about sexual / pornographic content and from what age they should be particularly mindful. For this we can not make a universal statement, because each child has its own pace of development and also the family and social environment play an important role in this. It is also important for you not to know exactly when a child might start looking at this content. Much more important is that you are open to the children entrusted to you as a Contact person and also avoid a usually so shameful topic from the way, but the conversation looking for.
Pornografie in der Lebenswelt
What do I think about sexuality myself and what does it look like in the world of the approaching children?
Du hast Punkte erreicht!
Sie haben in Ihrer eigenen Biografie die Erfahrung gemacht, dass offene Gespräche über den Body or sexuality are not or only with difficulty, are taboo or are shameful. These topics were not or only little discussed. It often comes down to you that it is difficult for you as an adult or that you prefer to avoid discussing these topics openly.
In your own biography you have learned that not all topics about physical and / or sexual questions were addressed openly or that certain topics were left out.
Often this results in the fact that in your job as a social worker you would like to address these issues with the children you work with, but it is not easy for you. Sometimes the shame or uncertainty prevails over how to talk to the children, and you prefer not to say anything.
In the best case, the experienced open moments in the family environment and / or in the circle of friends encouraged them to further develop this openness and to "overcome" the limits of shame. So it is possible in today's working life to talk more freely about sexual / pornographic topics.
Just take a look at the following questions to find out how to deal with the topics in your daily work:
In your own biography you have the experience that you could always talk openly about the issues of body and sexuality. So these topics are probably not very unpleasant for you and you are not trying to avoid them. If you work with children, you probably will talk about it openly today, maybe even before they are confronted with it.
Take a look for yourself, how your openness to these topics is. The questions we have put together and subsequent impulses can accompany you on this journey.
Typ a): I prefer to leave the subject to others!
Impulses from us to you: Children grow up in a world that often cultivates an open approach to sexual issues. Do not avoid the conversation, especially if you realize that the parents do not provide support here. Children in their work environment may well know that sexual topics are not your favorite topics. But it would be good if you make them feel that you still have an open ear for them and you like to learn together with them to question new things. In this way, you can prevent the children from embarking on an adventurous search in the world-wide open possibilities of the Internet and finding their answers there alone, which can often also contain unrealistic ideas.
Typ b): I want to be more open!
Impulse from us to you: only courage! You do not have to be an expert! Be authentic. It also means saying what you think about pornography, but stay as gentle and attentive as possible. Relationship starts with understanding. This applies to both sides. Children you work with will not reject you just because you are honest.
Questioning things together, even when they are shameful, can broaden their horizons, as well as those of children. Cautious preventative discussions can prevent children from embarking on an adventurous search in the world-wide open possibilities of the Internet and finding their answers there alone, which can often also contain unrealistic ideas..
Typ c): The open discussion is not difficult for me!
The impulse from us to you: Great that you can talk with your child / children so openly about sexual issues and pornography. Continue to give your child / children the feeling that they are available to him / her for any questions. But be cautious if these issues are addressed outside the family. The kids do not always like it when parents are so open-minded in the outside world with their "sexual worldliness".
Internetpornography - in the life of our teenagers no taboo
The fact that teenagers deal with sexual and / or pornographic content is normal and part of their development task. To deal with one's own as well as with the foreign sexuality and thereby the possibility of the Internet to use, belongs now to the adult. In the World Wide Web, longing and curiosity can be gratified, orientation or even first experiences can be collected ("how is that actually?").
The contact with sexual content or even pornography on the Internet does not necessarily lead to, for example, erroneous sexual representations or conceptions of the girl or the young. Important is the role of adults, especially those of the parents. In order to help your child with the processing and classification of the media contents, we have briefly outlined the following information for you in the following sections:
- What for youngsters use the Internet?
- What role does sex education play on the Internet?
- And how do girls or boys face pornography?
Young people and the Internet
Young people use the internet above all:
- as a source of information
especially for the homework and questions that interest you, such as u.a. the sexuality
- as a means of communication
primarily through online communities and messenger service
- for Entertainment
Listen to music / radio, watch movies, play computer games
- to sexual socialization
Experiences with flirting and pornography
(see. youth sexuality in the internet age)
Sex education on the Internet
Girls and boys in the youth age use the Internet with regard to sexual content,
- In search of information about sexuality and sex education
Especially when the first experiences with sexuality as well as the topic of relationship move closer, the interest and the need for information increase. Searched topics are for example:
- Sexual practices (positions, oral and anal sex)
- New, not yet known terms (e.g., fetish, "blow job")
- Contraception questions (v.a. girls)
- HIV, AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases (especially boys)
- Pregnancy symptoms (in emergency situations)
- Sex Toys
- Sexuality in general (sexual development, menstruation, etc.)
- The other sex (satisfaction of curiosity)
- Experience reports from the "first time"
- For flirting, chatting, dates, for social services and sex contacts
The Internet as a new experience offers many opportunities for erotic encounters. The most frequently used variant is online flirtation, which initially serves as an experimental field and later in the search for partners. A variety of means of communication are used to determine whether one is able to relate to one another and to look again and again to see whether this feeling can continue to exist. It is very rare that these online encounters are a real acquaintance, and even more rarely are non-contact sexual contacts (one-night stands).
The Internet offers from the perspective of the young people
- a low-threshold entry into the world of erotic encounters
- a test platform for the first experiences with the rules of flirtation
- a positioning of themselves and others at the partner market
- a test of one's own attractiveness and self-staging and that without unpleasant costs or consequences
- to the consumption of pornography
"Porn is normal and part of everyday media consumption"
Getting pornographic content has never been as easy and cost-effective as it is today.
In this context, the so-called sexting should be mentioned.
What is sexting? The word "sexting" is composed of the words "sex" and "texting". Via the Internet (computers, smartphones, etc.) specially created revealing / erotic photos / videos are sent and / or exchanged. Young people like to use the services "WhatsApp" or "Snapchat" for their actions.
The goal is to receive feedback from the person in question about one's own body / one's own image or to discover one's own sexuality.
In addition to sending erotic photos / videos as a proof of love, flirting / "trying out online" or mutual sexual arousal are among the most common reasons why teenagers get carried away by such pictures.
The limit of sexting was exceeded when commercial recordings / pornographic films were sent out; People secretly photographed, nude pictures unsolicited sent to others or pure text messages with erotic content ("Dirty Talk") are sent.
The danger of sexting results in unpleasant consequences such as bullying or social exclusion. In addition, the recordings can also be used as a means of pressure against the person pictured who the u.a. to blackmail more pictures ("Sexortion")
However, it can also be seen as part of modern intimate communication when certain aspects, such as e.g. the age, trust in others, a fair and respectful treatment, etc. are fulfilled.
A widespread assumption that more girls than boys have discovered the "sexten" for themselves, current studies can not prove.
Boys and internet pornography, they are opposed to this topic
- Eroticism falls under the category in male adolescents rather boring, uninteresting
- The consumption of porn is for them no taboo topic, but is openly communicated
- Compared to the girls, they consume pornography more frequently and more specifically
- In addition, consider a majority of boys porn as a serious source of information on sexuality
Why do boys watch porn?
- Knowledge about sexuality ingeneral
- The female body - what can Ilearn about him?
- To put sexual incentives (tostimulate)
- Peer Group - to talk togetheras well as assert themselves:the more I know about it, themore "cool / hip" I am (v.a.in the young years).
- To learn about new sexualpractices that can be triedout
(vgl. Porno im Web 2.0)
Source: Porno im Web 2.0
What pornographic content is consumed?
Mainly "normal" pornographic content. That is, pornography that:
- excitable and suitable for masturbation
- "Natural", "real" sex of man and woman (also resembling one's own)
- varied and sometimes even unusual positions
- oral sex and / or sex of two women
- maybe a little more sophisticated, refined and daring than his own sex / his own ideas
Where are their limits - which film content do they reject?
- Pornography that is not exciting but bizarre, repulsive or frightening (for example sadomasochism, fisting, bondage, "gang bang", etc.)
- Extreme representations e.g. with self-mutilation
Source: Porno im Web 2.0
What forms of pornography do male adolescents use?
Most often, boys use the solosetting (watching pornographic content at the very beginning), whereby the satisfaction by masturbation, as well as the increase and the enjoyment of excitement or pleasure are in the foreground. Followed by the homosocial setting (consumption of pornographic content with other boys) and the pairing (watching porn with the fixed girlfriend). The heterogeneous setting (to watch pornographic content together with peers, for example, parties) is rather less common.
Most boys see their first porn more with other male adolescents than alone. Together with the fact that boys at common meetings like to drive their boredom with the reputation of porn, or to fill breaks during activities. The goal is to show how casual and competent they are already in dealing with sexual - also shocking - content. But also to have fun, to make fun of it, to joke.
In addition to the common porn consume, it should also be mentioned that boys' groups interacted with one another about their opinion / experience on the subject of pornography and also their "mates" about the smartphone or similar with appropriate materials (eg, movies / streams / links / websites).
Source: Jugendsexualität im Internetzeitalter
How do boys explain their needs for the use of pornographic materials?
Boys justify their "desire" / their curiosity with the power of their impulses or hormones, which guide them. Thus, in their eyes, there is nothing "reprehensible" that they consume (more often) porn.
It is a legitimate way to satisfy their impulses.
In addition, the impulsiveness is seen as a sign of masculinity by the young people (m / w). Sexually active male adolescents are often regarded as women's heroes.
Source: Porno im Web 2.0
Young people have an expectation pressure, which is expressed as follows:
Sexual performance pressure: Boys should be able to perform at the start of their own sexual experience. The fact that they also have to learn through real experiences is not expected.
The result can be, that boys try to minimize this deficit of the actual experience by watching pornos. In doing so they should create the balancing act, the "learned" pornographic practices not bring into the own relationship or into the own bed. For porn, girls and boys do not have to look for a love affair and are seen as a sign of infidelity.
Source: Porno im Web 2.0
Girls and internet pornography, they are opposed to this topic
- In recent debates on pornography, girls do not receive the attention of boys.
- But the girls watch porn, of course, by using these content much less than male teenagers.
- As a rule, they come into contact with these contents by chance, casually or non-intentionally.
Why girls do watch porn?
- To enjoy entertainment,amusement, curiosity, get someporn proficiency.
- Stimulating new attitudes orpractices
- To break a taboo, to dosomething forbidden.
(see youth sexuality in the internet age)
Source: Jugendsexualität im Internetzeitalter
What kind of pornography is being consumed and what are its limits - what film content do they reject?
- A conscious consumption of porn happens almost exclusively in the setting with other persons (girlfriends, the firm friend, etc.). A conscious sole consumption for masturbation purposes is almost never given here.
- In contrast to boys, the view of girls, which is aesthetically beautiful pornography, is much higher than with boys. Beautiful, erotic pictures and representations stand for her in clear contrast to the shameless nakedness or directness, which is considered by them as nuttig. So-called softpornos are still considered aesthetically pleasing.
- Like boys, they also reject childpornographical representations as well as extreme representations, e.g. with self-mutilation
What forms of pornography do female teenagers use?
- Solosetting, i.e. alone on the Internet or television, girls do not usually recognize pornographic content, but are surfing the Internet or zapping on television to appropriate content. Porn videos are used by girls only very rarely for masturbation purposes, since they can find in these contents rather no exciting shares. With friends in the homosocial setting to break a taboo, do something forbidden. The curiosity is to be satisfied and it is always good to know what porn can contain so everything (certain porn proficiency). Girls often trust each other to ask questions, to discuss what they have seen and to exchange their opinions about sexual knowledge. In addition, the factors of entertainment and amusement play a role (laughing together, giggling, making fun). This creates security, especially in the search for confirmation of their normality, which can be experienced by mutual rejection or common laughter.
- In the heterosocial setting with peers of both sexes, it is mainly the guys who stimulate the consumption of pornography in this setting. The goal is to have fun, to entertain yourself or even to explore the rather unknown settings of pornography. For some girls, this is tacit tolerable, others are more active. In this setting the confirmation of one's own normality is also sought, by means of a common rejection or a joint laugh.
- The viewing of pornography in the paessetting with the fixed friend occurs here also mostly at the suggestion of the male partner. However, it is usually carried out by the side, e.g. While zapping on the TV or surfing the Internet. For girls, porn does not count as a part of a couple relationship. Also, they find it incriminating for the relationship (boys find it exciting, girls are rather annoyed by it). Most girls prefer to keep their sexual life apart from porno.
What clichés should girls fulfill from the boys' point of view?
- Girls should correspond to the perfect body image of the boys (perfection pressure)
- Girls / women should be beautiful, pretty, sexy and erotic.
- With them, "everything has to be right" (a beautiful face, "fat tits and a great ass")
- Possibly orientation on the body picture pornographic actresses: Shave in the intimate area or body piercings (piercing, tattoo)
- Girls also have to keep their sexual desires under control. Sexually active girls are often referred to as "bitches" - in contrast to the boys - in the circle of young people (m / f). Girls have no physical excuse (instinct or hormones) for their sexual desire.
Jugendsexualität im Internetzeitalter.
Eine Qualitative Studie zu sozialen und sexuellen Beziehung von Jugendlichen: https://www.bzga.de/infomaterialien/fachpublikationen/fachpublikationen/jugendsexualitaet-im-internetzeitalter/
(Herausgeberin: Bundeszentrale für gesundheitliche Aufklärung, Köln 2013)
Die Bedeutung der Pornografie in der Lebenswelt von Jugendlichen.
Ergebnisse der Studie „Porno im Web 2.0.“ (). Erschienen in proJugend 4/2010.
Die Grundlage der Zusammenfassung bildet die Studie „Porno im Web 2.0. Die Bedeutung sexualisierter Web-Inhalte in der Lebenswelt von Jugendlichen“ von Grimm, Petra/Rhein, Stefanie/Müller, Michael (2010), die in der Schriftenreihe der NLM, Band 25. Berlin: im Vistas Verlag erschienen ist.
Sexualität & Internet: